She’s been through rough times and she isn’t keen on sharing these with any old person. But when she finally feels ready, she’ll tell you everything; her voice may tremble and she may have to fight through tears, so be ready to wipe them away and hold her tight.
Month: December 2022
15 Ways The Beautifully Broken Girl Loves Differently
You might not always be able to see them, but her eyes will hide scars that run deep and true. She has fought off heartache and despair to get where she is today, and even though the wounds may not yet be fully healed, the beautifully broken girl still has love within her.
She just loves a bit differently to others…
“Why Are You So Emotional?”
Unfortunately, many folks are raised on the myth of stoicism and taught from a pre-verbal age that showing emotions is wrong or even immoral.
Science proves the opposite is true. Bottling up thoughts and feelings erodes our mental health and negatively impacts physical health, rendering statements like “why are you so emotional” invalidating and psychologically damaging.
Listen to the Lord.
This is listed last, but is certainly not least! Though you may not know all of the ins and outs of your spouse’s trauma journey, God does! He is able to guide you each step of the way, and He is ultimately the only One who can redeem the ravages of trauma. Let Him be your Healer, your Comforter, and your Guide.
Build the family you desire.
When you are married to a trauma survivor there is a great deal to navigate. And what you envision for your family might seem like an impossibility. But not every hope and dream has to be a casualty of trauma’s realities. Create the memories and traditions you believe should be a part of your children’s experiences. Instill the values you want them to have. Be consistent with discipline, instruction, and nurture. It will not always be easy. It will not always go according to plan. But build anyhow! It will be worth it!
How Infidelity Causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Healing from betrayal.
KEY POINTS
- A partner betrayed by infidelity may experience symptoms similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder.
- Intrusive thoughts and an inability to stop scanning for new data that could cause distress are two symptoms characteristic of being cheated on.
- The healing process from infidelity is the same as it is for all traumas.
Of all of the threats to a committed relationship I have treated in four decades of working with couples, the most difficult to heal is infidelity. When a trusted partner in a committed relationship betrays the sacred trust of the other, the relationship will undergo severe instability.
The partner who has been betrayed is emotionally tortured and humiliated when knowledge of the infidelity emerges. They are clearly in trauma and experience the same array of symptoms that professionals now describe as post-traumatic stress disorder. Similar to any others who have suffered threats to their physical or emotional well-being and security, they are disoriented and confused by what has happened.
Similar to the classical symptoms of PTSD, relationship partners of both genders may experience:
- Repeated intrusive thoughts.
- Unstable emotional regulation.
- Out-of-body experiences.
- Alternating between feeling numb and striking out in retaliation.
- Inability to stop scanning for any new data that might cause more distress.
- Feeling overwhelmingly powerless and broken.
- A need to regain self-worth by assigning blame.
- Confusion and disorientation.