Tag: Self-Help

7 Lies Christian Women Believe About $ex đŸŒș Written by Brittany Ann

Did your parents teach you about sex when you were growing up?

Did they do a good job? Or did you have to learn most of what you know at school, at church, on the playground, or even in books or on websites once you were older?

It’s funny, for a culture where $ex is so prevalent (it’s hard to watch a show that doesn’t include or at least reference it–even on so-called “family” channels), we really don’t talk about $ex the way we should.

It’s all jokes and references–not really the information that Christian women need to know.

And as a result, there are a LOT of misconceptions about what $ex is, what it’s for, and what it does to us spiritually and emotionally — even among Christian women who are old enough to know better!

Personally, I think my mom did a pretty good job of teaching me the things I’d need to know. And yet, I still grew up with tons of misconceptions and misunderstandings that I was taught–not by my parents, but by the CHURCH of all places, and by the culture around me. Maybe you did too.

Do any of these 7 Lies Christian Women Believe About $ex sound familiar to you?

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Indirect Attacks

19. Talks Behind Your Back

If you find out that this person backstabs you, it is clear that they want you destroyed. They love to gossip about you to other people, enjoying your stained reputation.

20. Plays the Victim

If you have a conflict with this person, expect them to play the victim. They will try to gain sympathy from your boss or colleagues. This individual will blame you for everything and avoid the details that will show their wrong side.

21. Tries to Get Your Friends to Their Side

This person will also try to isolate you. If you have good friends in the office or organization, they will try to get them from you too. This person will hang out with them, treat them a lot, and give them gifts. They will also try to get their trust.

22. Gaslights You

During the confrontation, this individual will resort to gaslighting. They will try to make you feel responsible for how they treat you. They want you to feel about yourself and be guilty about how this person feels.

23. Tries to Influence Others’ View of You

If someone wants to destroy you, they will start with your reputation. They will try to manipulate how others think of view. Whenever talking about you, they will pretend to sound concerned, but in reality, they are already leading these people into some speculations about you.

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Obsession and Jealousy

12. Stalks You on Social Media

One of the reasons why someone wants to destroy you is insecurity. They cannot accept that you are doing better than them. The hate they feel will cause them to be obsessed with proving that they are greater than you. One of its manifestations is stalking you on social media. They want to be updated with your life because they look forward to seeing you fail.

13. Wants to Talk About You All the Time

Another hint that a person is obsessed with seeing you fall is their interest in talking about your life. They like asking others about your personal life, plans, relationships, and even acknowledgments. They want to be updated with your life. Probably, a colleague has noticed this and let you know about their observation.

14. Copies Your Style

You can also tell that a person is obsessed with competing with you because they tend to copy your fashion style. Of course, they will add or remove something to make it less noticeable. And they will always come up with a more glamorous version.

15. Wants Everything You Have

This person is not only mimicking your fashion style but seems to want everything you want. From the car model to the desk organizer design, they seem to copy yours. You can tell they are also after your job position or organization role. If you are in a relationship and this individual knows your partner, this person may even try to flirt with your beau.

16. Observes You All the Time

How can you tell if a person is observing you a lot? They know your mistakes, even the small ones you thought no one noticed. Also, they clearly remember your statements, especially those that can be used against you.

17. Is Not Happy When You Achieve Something

Aside from downplaying your accomplishments, this person is obviously unhappy with them. Expect them to be absent during your celebration parties, and they will not even congratulate you.

18. Always Trying to Prove They are Better Than You

Another sign that a person wants to ruin you is how they always want to prove that they are better than you. Whenever someone praises you for your accomplishments or ideas, this insecure person will find a way to talk about their ‘better’ suggestions and ‘greater’ achievements.

Photo by xusenru

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Always in the Opposition

7. Never Acknowledges the Good Things You Do

You know that this person does not like you if they cannot compliment you for your good deeds. Whenever you excel at something, they will never congratulate you for it. Worse, they might even focus on minor, irrelevant flaws.

8. Always Opposes Your Suggestions or Ideas

Have you noticed that this person never agrees with any of your suggestions? They will never buy your ideas no matter how much you give your best in presenting them. Sometimes they can tell you why they do not like it, but there are times when they simply shrug.

9. Downplays Your Success

Aside from not acknowledging your victories, this person will always downplay them. For this individual, those are small wins, and nothing is special about them. This is a typical trait of someone who wants to destroy you.

10. Supports Those Who Oppose You

Factions and conflicts are not uncommon in any organization. What is surprising is there is this particular colleague who will always join forces with those you clash with.

11. Never Defends You

In connection to no. 10, you cannot expect this person to defend you from criticism. In fact, they may even join them in ranting against you.

Photo by xusenru

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A sense of belonging

This is perhaps the most common and elusive effect: feeling like an outsider, shut out, with her nose pressed against the glass of a store everyone else seems to have access to. That feeling may coexist with a stable and emotionally nurturing marriage and partnership, close ties to children of her own, and a circle of friends. It’s like an overturned can of stain that seeps into and discolors all the good things in life.

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The things the unloved daughter longs for in adulthood

Again, these are broad generalizations, and not every unloved daughter will necessarily feel deprived of every single one. But the chances are good that if you were unloved in childhood by your mother, criticized or marginalized, made to feel less than or ignored, many of these deep-rooted longings may coexist with and contradict all manner of success and achievement. That’s the power of these early experiences; the ways in which they may continue to shape us aren’t necessarily rational and can be very counterintuitive.

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What may prompt an individual’s recognition

Women back into discovery more often than not. Sometimes it becomes clear in therapy, but usually she’s gone into therapy to explore her current unhappiness (e.g., failed relationships, difficulty connecting or achieving goals, and other ancillary problems), and the connection to childhood emerges; that said, many daughters have commented that they were in therapy for years without ever tracing the problems of the present back to their roots.

For some, caring relationships in adulthood highlight the abusive or withholding nature of their childhood treatment. Others come to the realization, because someone points it out to them. For some, becoming a mother shines a light. Some finally see when their mothers treat their children as they were treated or when, despite efforts to set boundaries and rules, their mothers continue to verbally abuse them.

And then there’s just readiness. A daughter sees because she’s finally ready to see, because some internal tipping point is reached. This sounds mystical, but as I explain in my book, Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life, it is the slow pace of revelation.

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