Most people like to celebrate milestone birthdays with their nearest and dearest. So, you can imagine one mum’s upset when her long-time friends failed to turn up to her party. Her partner had gone all out for the special occasion, decorating their home and inviting all their loved ones, but his plan fell apart when several guests did not arrive.
“Heartbroken”, the inconsolable woman could not stop crying, and took to the internet to voice her frustration. Explaining she felt the “need to vent”, the woman shared her sadness in a post to Mumsnet, titled: “Nobody came to my party.”
“I went home with this guy I met at a bar in college and he took me to what I thought was his house. I was pretty tipsy at this point so I didn’t really pay too much attention to where we were going or what the place looked like. It turned out he lived with his parents and while we were having sex on the couch, they walked in and his mom screamed. I basically fell off the couch, grabbed what clothes I could find and ran out. I never did get my other sock back.” Maia, Orlando, Florida
“So I decided to buy a new vibrator and introduce it while me and this guy I was dating were in bed. I hadn’t tried it before he came over, but my friend had one and she swore by how amazing it was. But what I didn’t realize is that whatever type of rubber or plastic the thing was made out of caused me to break out in serious hives. Once we started using it, I realized I was really itchy and then all of a sudden I got all these lumps on the inside of my thighs, which kind of killed the mood, not to mention it was super-embarrassing.” Kayla, Park City, Utah
“I learned the hard way that it’s not always a good thing to be adventurous in bed. My boyfriend and I were just getting warmed up, kissing and stuff and I decided to slide around from being on the bottom to being on top. But mid-slide I thought I would add a bit of what I thought was a sexy high kick. Well, it turned out he lifted his head up just as I was kicking and I ended up breaking his nose. There was blood everywhere and he kind of freaked out. Not a good end to our night.” Sasha, Brooklyn, New York
“I was so excited to go on a third date with this guy I really liked and figured this would be the night where we slept together. But I was also really nervous about it since I hadn’t been with a guy since my ex the year before, so I started drinking as soon as we got to the restaurant — and didn’t stop. By the time we got to his place and he was trying to get my bra off, I must have passed out in his bed! He was really sweet about it the next day and even teased me a bit, but my hangover combined with passing out on him really made me feel disgusting. At least I didn’t puke on him.” Meghan, Calgary, Alberta
Almost everyone we know has a hilarious, embarrassing or downright awful sex story up their sleeve. Whether it was a one-night stand gone wrong or a first time in the sack that left something to be desired, we’re taking a look at some of the funniest sex stories we’ve heard in a while. If you have one to add, make sure you leave us a comment!
A deranged man was caught on camera allegedly rubbing feces on his neighbors’ new car shortly after pouring what’s believed to be urine through their letterbox in Hampshire, England, SWNS reported.
“It turned out he was putting urine through the letterbox and cat poo everywhere — he put it on my car and the doorstep, and he’d even gone round to my back gate and put urine on my [trash] bins as well,” Sue Waters said of the Aug. 6 incident.
“He was picking up bits of cat poo and moving it and then picking it up again and moving it somewhere else, and this went on for hours.”
Sue, 59, said she and her husband Martin, 61 were vacationing in Cypress when she was “horrified” to see the neighbor’s face on their doorbell camera.
The man had allegedly poured urine out of a bottle and into the Waters’ home.Kennedy News and Media
Clueless as to what the man was pouring on their property — and fearing it might have been a flammable substance like gasoline — the Waters called on their daughter and son-in-law to inspect the home.
“Our daughter and son-in-law cleared it up for us, and they were steaming the floor, but I had to throw out my rug because it stunk of urine. We were so upset,” Sue said.
The irrational neighbor’s rationale? He claims the couple took his parking spot.
That’s one deadly weapon that probably doesn’t come up during officer training.
Tempers can flare when a person gets served an eviction notice. That’s understandable — after all, someone’s about to get kicked out of their home.
It’s still rare to see somebody deploy what amounts to a biological weapon to try and stop the eviction. But that’s what a Massachusetts woman allegedly did against sheriff’s deputies attempting to serve an eviction notice.
Rorie Susan Woods is accused of unleashing a hundreds-strong bee swarm on the deputies in protest. The 55-year-old beekeeper reportedly smashed several of her hives to drive the officers away from the house.
Her plan didn’t work, though. Woods was also arrested and is now facing multiple assault charges.
Some of the stung deputies were allergic to bees. Fortunately, they seem to have recovered without further issues.
You may not be sleeping in on Sundays, but don’t plan to spend that extra time grilling out. It is against the law to purchase meat of any kind on Sundays in Washington. Better plan to add some veggies to that grocery list of yours.