Individuals with social anxiety disorder have a general, intense fear of social situations where they may embarrass themselves. They worry that actions linked with their anxiety will be negatively viewed by others, leading the individual to feel embarrassed. This concern often causes people with social anxiety to avoid public places or social events. Individuals with social anxiety…

read more

Do you know someone who uses a “catchphrase” to signal that they disagree with something you said? Common examples include saying “I guess” or “whatever” in a snarky and dismissive tone. Replying this way is an obnoxious, passive-aggressive habit that provides a cover of plausible deniability. Being on the receiving end of these types of…

read more

Unfortunately, many folks are raised on the myth of stoicism and taught from a pre-verbal age that showing emotions is wrong or even immoral. Science proves the opposite is true. Bottling up thoughts and feelings erodes our mental health and negatively impacts physical health, rendering statements like “why are you so emotional” invalidating and psychologically damaging. Read…

read more

Those who survive complex childhood trauma are often caught in a vicious cycle. They long for intimacy, but the very stresses that are a normal part of building a meaningful marital relationship trigger their defenses and their coping mechanisms. They typically end up in one of three modes – fight, flight, or freeze. Sadly, the…

read more

Even when survivors of complex childhood trauma are married to safe, sympathetic, emotionally healthy spouses, they guard themselves and remain hypervigilant toward their spouses. So it is important that you as the spouse remember this: While you might have problems, and while you might not always handle the problems correctly, and while you are most…

read more

If you are married to a survivor of complex childhood trauma, understanding his or her inner world is one of the keys to cultivating a meaningful marriage. I have heard trauma survivors describe their inner worlds as “a constant noise” they live with. The noise has a lot to do with the hyper vigilance we…

read more