1. Don’t get married. Just don’t do it. Unless…

Before you know it, you’ll be married and eating pizza and wings on your couch with your beloved, staring at the next seven to eight decades of your life. It’s going to happen.

But why? It seems that most humans gravitate towards marriage or at least domestic partnership, so we’re talking about a deep, human tradition that doesn’t have to require a license and rings. But most people spring for the legal side of it, changing last names and throwing a big party with cake and a DJ (or, if they’re really good, a house band).

But marriage, while practiced by almost every adult, shouldn’t be. This is evident in the divorce rates for first and second-time spouses, which show us that more than 40% of us just aren’t good at staying married and faithful (if you’re the kind of person who wants a faithful spouse). And 90% of us won’t take on that second marriage until its mortal end.

What we’re good at is getting married because, well, why not? Contrary to statistics, it makes sense to become domesticated and want to be with that someone forever.

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