Photo: Sitophotostock/ Shutterstock

By Jeremy McKeen

Some of you should not be married.

You know who you are, possibly. It’s hard to tell unless you get married and then realize, at some point, that it isn’t for you — that it was at one point, and is no longer (possibly when you were young and your brain wasn’t fully formed), especially when it’s supposed to be forever.

The funny thing about that is that “forever” is a time-sensitive concept for mortals who usually die before their 100s, but the sentiment is nice. If marriage really meant you’d be married forever, even after death, possibly while populating planets for all of eternity, then it might change the conversation. But that’s not marriage, that’s a sci-fi concept most people fear.

The idea for couples is supposed to be “until death do you part,” but it seems that, like most young people who don’t know yet that they aren’t invincible, death is a far-off concept, and not at all considered by the very ones who should be considering it.

So death, then. Or, you know, until something better or less boring comes along. Or until the kids are a little older. Or until that final fight to end all fights, and you need someone new.

It’s hard not to be cynical about marriage in an age where our heroes and culture constantly celebrate and — at the same time — dismiss the very real and personal choice to enter into wedded bliss. Most marriages end the same way “best friends forever” relationships end: they were, for a time, relevant. Then something happened, and then the couple realized that their time was up sooner than death or forever.

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