Soon, as a married couple, you will be (or be near) old, fat, balding, and without any of the charm you might have had once. It happens. You’re going to live and suffer through life with one person who is supposed to be magically matched to your personality. So you should like that person.
Yes, love is important. Some would say it’s all you need, but they were wrong.
You must like the person you’re going to suffer through life with.
And I use the word “suffer” in all of its meaning, from the light stuff to the heavy: changing jobs, having kids, losing loved ones to death and distance, and the never-ending money problems (if you’re alive and have a bank account, then you will have money problems at some point, and sharing a bank account is just as a risky experiment as marriage itself). So you have to like the person and want to be with them all the time.
Now you can’t make yourself like someone, so right here we have one of the reasons divorce is so popular: hordes of marriers who just stopped liking the person they pledged their life to.
Before marrying I had a number of girlfriends who I liked and loved. But there was always an indication that I needed to get out of the relationship before I stayed too long at the party. This inner navigation, or “voice” usually spoke to me along the lines of “Oh no, you don’t like her anymore — get out now,” and luckily I listened, every time, even when I had played too long.
But with my wife, I never had that voice. I’m in love with my wife, of course. But I really like my wife, and that counts for so much more. She and I have built a world that I really like, and look forward to every day of my life.
Love is easy. But the hardest thing in the world is to get someone to like something — or someone — they just don’t.
