Tag: Spiritual Help

Excuses are character flaws in us. They are an expression of justification for failure to do something.

People who tend to make excuses view the “reason in their mind” as an uncontrollable event that justifies why they can’t do or complete something.

• Excuses exist to justify, blame, or defend with the intent to absolve oneself of accountability.
• Excuses are never followed by positive, goal-directed, or solution-oriented behavior.

A reason EXPLAINS but stays in control and reroutes someone’s actions.

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What’s the difference between a reason and an excuse? Here are some examples.

EXCUSE. “I don’t have time” to exercise is an EXCUSE.

REASON. “I have a broken leg” is a REASON for not exercising.

EXCUSE. “I can’t afford to spend money on my health” (as the person drives through Starbucks, a fast food joint, goes on a shopping spree, etc.) is an EXCUSE.

REASON. “I don’t have a job right now, so I can’t afford that” is a REASON.

EXCUSE. “It’s too expensive” is an EXCUSE.

REASON. “I have self-doubt in my ability to follow through” is a REASON.

EXCUSE. “I don’t have time to take care of _______” is an EXCUSE.

REASON. “I’m not taking care of ______ because I am overextended/not managing my time well and need to adjust my commitments/priorities” is a REASON.

Reasons become excuses when they are used to avoid responsibility or to be accountable. It’s a heart issue and a character flaw.

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If you want to know if or how much you or someone else places importance or priority on something, take note of the excuses.

“If we don’t want it bad enough, we will not execute change in our lives.” Donna Alexander

Yes. We can have hurdles, challenges, and obstacles to navigate and negotiate. But MANY “reasons” for not executing are, in fact, not reasons.

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A little truth bomb today. My friend posted the quote below on her social media, which sparked my little conversation with the Holy Spirit and this article about the difference between an excuse and a reason.

“If you want it bad enough, you’ll put away all of the excuses, and you’ll do whatever it takes. If you want it, you’ll learn, you’ll create, and you’ll be patient as you put the effort n. If you want it, you will find a way to make it happen.” Sylvester McNutt III

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Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for the riches of Your kindness, mercy, and patience, knowing that Your kindness has led me to repentance (Romans 2:4). I confess that I have not extended that same patience and kindness toward others who have offended me. Instead, I have held anger, bitterness, and resentment in my heart. During this time of self-examination, I pray that you would bring to mind all the people that I need to forgive so that I may do so now (Matthew 18:35).

(Begin writing down the names that come to mind, then continue the prayer) 

Father, in the Name of Jesus Christ, as an act of my will, I choose to forgive the following people:

1. I choose to forgive & release (name) for (describe what he/she did)
2. I choose to forgive & release (name) for (describe what he/she did)

(Continue down your list. Take a moment to pause and ask Holy Spirit if there’s anyone else. Then finish the prayer.) 

Lord, Thank you for setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness. I also pray that if I have offended others, You will bring to mind only those people I need to seek forgiveness and the extent to which I need to seek it (Matthew 5:23,24). I ask this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

Note: I use the “I choose to forgive and release” phrase in everyday life so that I don’t leave a door cracked for the enemy to set up camp. I follow it up by thanking God for setting me free from the bondage of bitterness.

I may have to say it several times in one day, for weeks, or even months, but I do this until I no longer feel angry. If I think about the offense and it stirs a familiar emotion or response, I say it again. It really does work!

Was this article on unforgiveness and bitterness helpful? Check out my other inner healing and freedom articles.

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Use this prayer to be your guide to removing the chains of unforgiveness and bitterness. Remember, PRAY THIS OUT LOUD! The enemy cannot hear your thoughts, and there is power in the spoken word.

As you read through your list of names, be prepared for people to come to mind that you have blocked from your memory. Just say their name immediately before continuing with the rest of the list.

If the Lord brings a name or face to mind and you don’t know why. Write it down anyway. Holy Spirit knows things we don’t remember and event he things we would consider insignificant, but carry more weight than we understand. He will bring the reason as you move through the process. Trust Him!

Also, include yourself and God on the list. Most of us are harder on ourselves than anyone else could ever be. It’s time to forgive yourself and take back the ground the enemy stole!

Some people protest putting God on the list when I do ministry with them. While God is perfect, we can still hold anger toward Him for something that’s happened to us. You may not be angry NOW, but perhaps you were angry in the past. Let’s just close that door to the enemy in this prayer.

Read this prayer out loud before you get started moving through the freedom steps. 

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First, you must acknowledge the hurt and/or hate you have toward the person(s). If your forgiveness doesn’t visit the emotional core of the offense, it will be incomplete. Let God bring it to the surface so He can deal with it. This is where healing takes place.

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One simple answer is that He wants us to experience freedom, not the chains of anxiety and roots of bitterness that bind us when we don’t forgive. It’s FOR US, not for the person who offended us or did us wrong. His heart is for us to experience the authentic life that He created for us fully. If our heart is filled with anger or bitterness, there’s not much room for Holy Spirit.

But more importantly, it’s because Jesus forgave us!

Matthew 18:21-25 provides a clear picture of how God views unforgiveness and bitterness, and the consequences we will suffer if we choose not to forgive.

In verses 32-34, the master called in the unmerciful servant and said, ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed.

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Forgiving is difficult for us because it pulls on your concepts of justice. We want justice, or revenge, for the offenses we have suffered. We believe that if we forgive, then there was no justice. We protest, “Why should I let them off the hook?” But the truth is they aren’t off the hook. You take them off of yours, but they’re still on God’s. He will deal with them fairly, which is something we cannot do.

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What do I mean?

It may be difficult to forget, but forgiving is not the same as forgetting. Forgiveness is a choice. Here’s what scripture says:

“Be ANGRY, and yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.” (Eph. 4:26-27)

At the end of the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus warns us, “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

He who hates his brother is in darkness, and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because darkness has blinded his eyes. (1 John 2:11)

Again, forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgetting may be a result, the fruit, of forgiving, but it’s not the means of forgiveness.

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