Author: Persecution Live News

So How Do We Receive That ‘Pardon’? Who Is Going To Cancel A Debt As Big As Adultery?

You certainly can’t do it.

Yes you can work at restoring what you have now and helping the one you hurt;
but there’s nothing you can really do to change the past; or to take back what you did.

That’s the unfortunate truth.  Trust me, I tried.

What about a pardon from your husband?  He may or may not ever forgive you for what you did.

It will likely take time, and work, for him to grant you that pardon and not hold it against you forever.

But what if he never does? 

Does that mean you’re then not worthy of forgiveness?

Did this one (terrible) thing define the whole of who you really are?
What about the good you’ve ever done?

Does adultery cancel all of that out?

No.  I don’t believe it can or should do that.

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First Let’s Be Clear What The Word “Forgive” Or “Forgiveness” Even Means.

This is what the dictionary has to say:

to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.); to grant pardon to (a person).
to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies.
to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.
to pardon an offense or an offender.

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When We Give Into Sin, It Has Its Own Consequences And Punishment.

I’m sure nobody has to tell you that by now.

Forgiveness doesn’t eliminate the consequences for our bad choices; just like the murderer who repents to God in prison.

He’s still serving His time.

But God’s forgiveness can make a sinner’s heart clean again.

Only He can wash the guilty stain from your heart and restore you to Himself,
and even restore your husband and your marriage– if both are willing.

Yes, adultery is serious and God takes it seriously. He wants to forgive you for it,
if you truly want to stop.

But what about the voice of shame you hear in your head?

How do you forgive yourself after your own affair? 

Let’s dive a little deeper into this.

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How Much Self-Loathing Will It Take To Pay For What You Did? Can It Ever Pay For It?

I’m not in any way excusing infidelity- so for those of you reading this who would like to leave a comment accusing me
of blame shifting, or accuse me of making excuses for the unfaithful, I’m certainly not.

God knows my heart so lay your stones down- because the world doesn’t need more pious religious (or not religious) people
who only want to accuse others without examining their own hearts.

I imagine some people may have even thought Jesus was making excuses for her sin, or shifting the blame.  Of course He wasn’t.

I am standing behind the love of Jesus. The love that saved a woman’s life that day- and likely saved more than just her life.

I stand behind HIS love for you, and His offer to forgive you, because ultimately that’s what matters most-
His forgiveness for you.

Will that lessen your consequences?  No.

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Is His Forgiveness Enough To Silence The Hate In Your Own Mind?

You know the voice; it might be your own, or the words of others who know about your affair. I’m sure it’s past the warning light stage of guilt now- it’s moved into the realm of shame where you hate yourself for what you’ve done. Maybe you used to judge people who committed adultery before.  I know I probably did. It was easier to remove myself from the possibility of ever falling into this trap myself, by thinking it’s just those ‘bad people’ who do this.

But now you’re named among those, and you don’t know how you can ever live with yourself or how to help your husband heal, because all you see and feel every day is the shame from your sin. Some of you may even be contemplating suicide because of it. That is what shame does.

Friend, I want to ask you- what is continuously punishing yourself or hating yourself doing for you now?

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Jesus Wasn’t Condoning Her Sin, But He Did Tell Her This: “Where Are Your Accusers?” “..Neither Do I Condemn You, Go And Sin No More.”

So that settles any question you might have if God can or will forgive you? God forgives ALL sin….to those that truly ask Him and repent. Does that mean she got away with it?  Does that mean she didn’t have to pay for her sin? Not quite. I imagine she struggled with the shame of that afternoon for a long time. I’m sure the haters were still there gossiping about her afterwards.

But I Can Also Imagine That The Love And Grace She Felt That Afternoon, From A Man She Didn’t Even Know, Far Surpassed Anything She’d Ever Experienced Before. Jesus did more than just save her life from being stoned to death, He looked past her sin and saved her soul. His forgiveness was enough to silence the hate of pious religious leaders. You can read more about that love of God here.

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There’s No Way To Mince Words- Adultery Is Wrong.

It made God’s top 10 commandments because He knew the pain and devastation it brings to marriages, and the family unit.

But I’m figuring you already know that.

For a closer look at what God thinks of you, and how to actually go about forgiving yourself,
let’s look at how Jesus dealt with a woman like us.

The woman was dragged out, caught in the very act,
to be presented before Jesus (and the crowd) for stoning.

She was obviously guilty- no one could deny that.
(Hmmm…no mention of the man in this scenario, which was always interesting to me).

The religious leaders were justified in stoning her, the law declared it so, and they were using this to test Jesus- how would he answer?

Could they trap him by speaking against God’s law?

How would he show compassion (as he seemed to be in the habit of doing with outcasts), without breaking God’s own law of punishment?

You likely know the story… he pretty much ignored their murmurings and demands for an answer as he wrote in the sand

(oh how I wish we knew what he wrote- could it have been “lusting after a woman in your heart”,
or maybe “stealing from innocent people”, “greed” “lying”  we don’t know).

But then he stands next to the woman and declares “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.”

He knew she was guilty, nobody could deny that- and the woman certainly wasn’t denying it as she stood in complete shame and humiliation,
waiting for her demise.

But interesting enough- they dropped their stones and walked away; the oldest man to the youngest.

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Shame Is Like Guilt’s Evil Cousin.

It’s more than a warning light on your dashboard-it’s actually ready to blow up your car for being such a terrible car in the first place.

Shame’s primary purpose is to push you down- and keep you there -because of what you’ve done.

I have a few views on this subject that I’d like to share with you if you’d allow me a few minutes.

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Will God forgive my infidelity? FAITH AND SPIRITUAL HEALING· FOR UNFAITHFUL WIFE what does the bible say about forgiveness for adultery?

Look, I know you’re probably here because you did what you never thought yourself capable of doing- you had an affair,  committed adultery, were unfaithful…whatever you want to call it.

What matters is the destruction it left in its wake; which came from your own choices. Once someone comes out of the affair fog and gains clarity to truly see the pain they’ve caused, it can be very hard to live with the reality of pain left behind.

You Feel Unrelenting Guilt For Hurting Your Husband So Deeply, And You Can’t Understand How You Brought This On Your Marriage.

Guilt’s gotten a bad rap- but it’s not all bad.  So let’s first talk about guilt’s purpose.Guilt is there to warn you that you’ve gone off course and something is seriously wrong… think of it like a warning light on your car; ignore it long enough and your car will eventually break down leaving you stranded. So experiencing guilt, and letting that guide you to be truly sorry for what you’ve done is a good thing. Guilt should move you to true remorse to the point where you want to stop what you were doing wrong.

But some of us take guilt a little too far, and use it way past its expiration date-
staying guilty for something that you’ve already asked forgiveness for, and are trying to make right. But shame…ah shame, that’s different than guilt.
And I’m well acquainted with that one.

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Unresolved problems and future targets

The relationship between anxiety and sexual function is complex because it has been considered in 2 symmetrical directions: the primary symptom and the secondary consequence. Understanding the cause-effect link in clinical practice necessitates experience and an expanded point of view.

The relationship between anxiety and sexuality can be theoretically described as one of the following:

  • Anxiety may cause sexual failure.
  • SDs may cause anxiety.
  • SDs and anxiety are not causally related.
  • Anxiety and SDs may be different expressions of the same processes.

The analogies in neurobiology and the good response to similar treatments (psychotherapy and/or SSRIs)53-56 seem to confirm the last hypothesis, suggesting a common root of these 2 manifestations. Obtaining a complete psychopathological and sexual history represents an important step in diagnosis that can influence prognosis with either pathology.

When investigating anxiety disorders, it is important to consider the patient’s sexual life, and vice versa. When we evaluate SD, anxiety disorder should always be considered. In our practice, failure to investigate the patient’s psychological background negatively influences the treatment goal of a patient with an SD.

The clinical evaluation should not be restricted to the patient but should extend to the partner. In particular, partners of men with SDs frequently have not only an unsatisfactory sexual life but an anxiety disorder as well.57

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