LET’S TAKE IT RIGHT FROM THE BIBLE

The apostle Paul gives it to us straight:

In the past I spoke against Christ and persecuted him and did all kinds of things to hurt him. But God showed me mercy, because I did not know what I was doing. I did not believe.

But the grace of our Lord was fully given to me, and with that grace came faith and love that are Christ Jesus. What I say is true, and you should fully accept it: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of who I am the worst. But I was given mercy so that in me, the worst of all sinners, Christ Jesus could show that he has patience without limit. (1 Tim 13-16)

Read Romans, read Galatians, read Ephesians, read Corinthians… Matthew, Mark, Luke, John. Read where you feel called to read. It’s all there. Read the Bible.

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GOD DOESN’T HAUNT US, HE LOVES US.

Jesus didn’t come to judge the world; he came to save it. (John 12:47).

I write this, and I also struggle to remember this at times, which requires going by faith. Could someone love us so much as to forgive all our sins? Yes, without a single doubt. God wants us… he knows us and loves us. He gave His son for us. Sin that has worked in our life is not who we are. It does not belong.

Have you entrusted your soul to God? Then you know the good news: Your soul has been washed clean by the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen!

Nevertheless, if you’re feeling haunted by the past, these three questions could help protect your focus:

1. Do I believe the world, or do I believe God? (Who is more powerful?)
2. Did I pray about it?
3. What does the Bible say about it?

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Feeling Haunted by the Past?

Just when we’re having that beautiful sunshine day, in floats a cringe-worthy thought from the past. How did I do that, we think quietly–maybe even regretfully–while temptation smiles and adds one point to the score board.

Ah, you sneaky devil.

The temptation we feel to worry about the past plays on the thought that, well, … that was me. The keyword phrase to pay attention to, however, is at the end of that last sentence: that was me.

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GOD WANTS US BACK

We are chosen. We belong to God. He waits, and He calls. We ignore Him, but He waits and He calls.

We run as far as we can from Him. We attempt to hide from a God who sees all. We attempt to shut out the Father who knew us before we were even born. But since we are chosen, since we belong to Him, He waits and He calls.

“You can be sure of this: The LORD set apart the godly for himself. The LORD will answer when I call to him.” (Psalm 4:3)

Have you had a wake-up call? What did it look like for you?

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IF WE ASK TO SEE, HE WILL SHOW US THE PROBLEM

There’s always that one day when you think, Ok, this is bad.

So I had that day a number of times in those four years, but one day the struggle was at its worse and I realized there was no where left to turn. On that same day this huge box arrived at my door. It was a gift from my mom that had been on back-order for weeks–it was a large, standing mirror.

I took out the mirror and just looked at myself. How ironic. No, how scary.

There I was… me and my self-deception.

It was the most obvious wake-up call of my life. For a moment I hated the mirror, but then I realized it was time to face it: God is God, and I needed to hand over the reigns.

I prayed from deep in my heart for God to take over my life. In every way I can hear or see I recognized a voice that said, “I want purity for your life.” It made perfect sense in that moment, even though on a human level it made no sense.

I felt all the regret and pain funnel into some different feeling. It felt like holding a hand. And not knowing where it would lead, I fumbled and followed along in a rather awkward way.

Squeaking by, feeling pushed and pulled inside, cringing at rough landings and more mistakes… sometimes it felt like I wouldn’t survive the turbulence.

If the story up until now had been a record, this is the part where the record scratches and you hear that fuzzy sound. God had a new record for me, and it was far better than any record I could have chosen for myself. Here is part two of my testimony.

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How Do You Give Your Life to God? My Call to Wake Up SEPTEMBER 20, 2010 BY JEN

What’s it like to give your life to God?

How do I know if I’m doing it right?

Is it even possible to do?

These are some of the questions that floated through my mind in the past two years.

Last week I stood up and gave my life to Christ. And while I’d love to jump right into that story, there’s a backstory.

It didn’t happen overnight, and yet it happened night after night. I didn’t wake up one day and know exactly what to do, but I did get a call to wake up and trust that God knows what to do.

This is my personal testimony.

OLD LIFE: I, ME, MINE

It says in Luke 17:33, “If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.”

I used to live this kind of life where God existed, Jesus set an excellent example, and the Holy Spirit looked like a dove. And I prayed when I needed help.

In complete denial, I lived a sinful life but didn’t see myself as a sinful person. I wasn’t out to hurt anyone, yet people got hurt.

It helped to go to church, but I didn’t always feel like going. When I did go, singing hymns felt uninspiring, so I’d stand there and wait for that part to end.

During prayer I’d ask God how to help me find the missing pieces, fill the empty void, handle the anxiety. I’m not sure I believed He could or would really do it.

I needed God but had no idea just how much I needed God.

In the meantime I lived in and for the world, believing lies, rationalizing greed and compromising values. I didn’t see the crooked path I walked along; I just saw what I wanted to see.

The safest road to hell is the gradual one– the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.”
— C.S. Lewis

Four years passed. I wanted truth but sought comfort. There was a call for truth and purity in my life, but I didn’t know how to get there. The confusing twist kept me locked and bound, living by my own rules. I asked God to show me what I needed to see.

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Hypothesis 4. Wives’ Anxiety Will Be Associated With Higher Levels of Husbands’ Distress (i.e., Anxiety, Anger, Depression)

We again used multilevel modeling to investigate these associations. However, we were only interested in husbands’ distress as our outcome, as follows:

HAnxik = b0i + b1Daysik + b2Weeekendik + b3WAnxik + eijk.
(4)

As indicated previously, we specified the variance-covariance matrix as autoregressive. Each distress measure (anxiety, anger, and depression) was modeled separately, with all Level 1 coefficients specified as random.

As hypothesized, wives’ anxiety was associated with greater husbands’ distress on the same day, Anxiety: b3 = 0.11, t(32) = 3.04, p < .01; Anger/Hostility: b3 = 0.14, t(32) = 2.84, p < .01; Depression: b3 = 0.15, t(32) = 3.95, p < .01. There were no significant variations around the effects of wives’ anxiety on husbands’ distress (Anxiety: τ = 0.01, LR test = 0.60; Anger/Hostility: τ = 0.02, LR test = 0.20; Depression: τ = 0.01, LR test = 0.30). The LR test here represents the difference between the −2 log likelihood of a model that treats the effect of a particular coping strategy as random and a model that does not.

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Hypothesis 3. On Days in Which the Wives Reported Elevations in Anxious Mood, Husbands Will Be Perceived as Having at Least Some Involvement in the Experience of Anxiety

We identified all days on which wives reported at least moderate anxiety (2 or 3 on a 0–3 scale). We then examined the frequency, across all these days, of moderate to high (2 or 3 on a 0–3 scale) ratings on follow-up questions concerning the husbands’ influence on the wives’ anxiety that day. Wives reported at least moderate anxiety on an average of 10 of 14 days (range = 6–14). On 60.5% of these occasions, wives perceived their husbands as having at least some (ratings of 2 or 3 on a 0–3 scale) influence on their anxiety that day. On 44.4% of these days, husbands were perceived as improving the wife’s anxiety; on 17.4% of days, husbands were perceived as making the wife’s anxiety worse; and on 38.4% of days, husbands were perceived as neither making the anxiety better nor worse. A one-way chi-square test revealed significant differences in the proportions of each type of rating (i.e., anxiety made better, worse or neither) represented across all high-anxiety days, χ2(2, N = 66) = 36.69, p < .05.

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Hypothesis 2. The Associations Between Wives’ Anxiety and Perceptions of RQ Will Be Moderated by Wives’ Anxiety-Specific Relationship Adjustment (CIQ), but Not Global Relationship Functioning (DAS)

We tested the moderation hypothesis in two separate multilevel analyses. The same model described in Equation 1 was used for each analysis. However, Level 2 equations included the following additional predictors as moderators: CIQ and DAS. Because we were interested in the effects of wives’ anxiety on wives’ and husbands’ relationship quality (denoted as b3w and b3h in Equation 1, respectively), b3w, and b3h were modeled as a function of these moderators, as such:

b3w = γ30w + γ31w(CIQwi) + γ32w(DASwi);
(2)

 

b3h = γ30h + γ31h(CIQwi) + γ32h(DASwi).
(3)

CIQwi reflects wives’ report of anxiety-specific relationship adjustment for dyad i, and DASwi reflects wives’ report of global relationship functioning. We did not alter the specifications of the random effects for the moderation tests.

CIQ scores moderated the within-person association between wives’ anxiety and their own ratings of positive relationship quality that same day, γ31w = 0.017, t(32) = 2.57, p < .05, such that for wives who reported low CIQ scores, their anxiety was negatively associated with their positive RQ. For wives who reported high CIQ scores, their anxiety was not associated with their positive RQ. Figure 1 is the visual representation of this interaction, for CIQ scores one standard deviation above and below the mean. CIQ scores did not moderate any other hypothesized within-dyad associations, Positive RQ: γ31h = 0.001, t(32) = 0.17, ns; Negative RQ: γ31w = −0.006, t(32) = −0.89, ns; γ31h = 0.005, t(32) = 0.79, ns. As hypothesized, DAS did not moderate the association between anxiety and negative or positive RQ, Positive RQ: γ32w = 0.005, t(32) = 0.60, ns; γ32h = 0.004, t(32) = 0.52, ns; Negative RQ: γ32w = −0.011, t(32) = −1.20, ns; γ32h = −0.010, t(32) = −1.24, ns.

Figure 1 Prediction of wives’ relationship quality (RQ) with wives’ anxiety as a function of high and low Couples Interaction Questionnaire (CIQ; Craske et al., 1989) scores.

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Hypothesis 1. Wives’ Daily Anxiety Will Be Associated With Perceptions of RQ for Both Husband and Wife

We used a multilevel statistical model to investigate these associations separately for positive and negative RQ. Multilevel modeling accounts for the bias in standard errors and statistical tests that result from nonindependent data and effectively handles “unbalanced” or missing data at the level of repeated observations by using all available data for participants. Inferences are valid assuming missing data are missing at random (see ). The models had two levels: within-dyad (over time) and between-dyad. Using the dyadic longitudinal approach described by , we included wives’ and husbands’ RQ in a single multilevel analysis to account for the fact that wives’ and husbands’ data were clustered within dyad. All analyses were conducted using the MIXED procedure in SAS (Version 9.1.3, 1997).

The within-dyad level of the analysis allowed each dyad’s RQ to be modeled as a function of husbands’ and wives’ anxiety. We predicted a given day’s husbands’ and wives’ RQ for a particular dyad and adjusted for number of days in the study and weekend effects. Because husbands’ anxiety may be highly associated with husbands’ evaluations of RQ, husbands’ anxiety was included to adjust for this effect. The model specified was as follows:

Yijk = (Wifeijk) × (b0w + b1wDaysik + b2wWeekendik + b3wWAnxik + b4wHAnxik + eijk) + (Husbijk) × (b0h + b1hDaysik + b2hWeekendik + b3hWAnxik + b4hHAnxik + eijk),
(1)

where Yijk is the RQ for dyad i for person j (j = 1 is wife’s report; j = 2 is husband’s report) on day k. When the outcome is the wife’s report (Wifeijk = 1 and Husbijk = 0), the first part of the model is selected and all of the b coefficients have the subscript w. Similarly, when the outcome is the husband’s report, Wifeijk = 0, Husbijk = 1, and the second part of the model is selected. Daysik is the number of days in the study; Weekendik indicates whether it is a weekend day or not; WAnxik is the wife’s report of anxiety; HAnxik is the husband’s report of anxiety; the residual components are represented by eijk. All predictor variables were within-person centered (). Finally, the approach discussed by  allowed us not only to account for dependency within individuals across time (i.e., autoregressive) but also to account for dependency within dyads (pp. 292–295).

The between-dyad level of this analysis modeled individual differences in the coefficients specified in Equation 1. We fit a model that considered intercepts for both wives’ and husbands’ reports of RQ to be random (i.e., varying across persons). In addition, slope of day on wives’ RQ (b1w), slope of wives’ anxiety on wives’ RQ (b3w), and slope of husbands’ anxiety on husbands’ RQ (b4h) were modeled to be random for the positive RQ analysis; slope of husbands’ anxiety on husbands’ RQ (64h) was modeled to be random for the negative RQ analysis.1 Random effects were tested using the nested comparison of likelihood ratio (, p. 119).

Table 3 presents results for both wives’ and husbands’ reports of positive RQ.2 Only variables of interest are reported here. Wives’ anxiety was not associated with their own positive RQ, b3w = −0.03, t(32) = −0.89, ns, but was significantly associated with husbands’ positive RQ, b3h = −0.14, t(32) = −3.05, p < .01. Specifically, on days when wives experienced higher anxiety, husbands reported less positive relationship quality. There was no significant variation around these effects.

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