How to deal with unforgiveness
As I have pointed out, unforgiveness is a form of hatred, which is actually a lack of love. If you are bitter with somebody, then the love of Christ is not flowing through you. So how do you solve that problem? You need to grow in God’s love. You need to come to realize that deep and beautiful love that He has for you. As you learn of His love for you, your spirit will respond and you will love Him in return. When you love Him, your love will begin to flow through you to others around you. When that happens, it becomes more natural to see Christ’s forgiveness flowing through you to them.
How do you come to know the love of God? You spend time with Him. You research His Word to see what it has to say about His great love for you! Work on developing an intimate relationship with Him, and you will come to know His love. Here are some verses that can get you started:
John 10:11, 15:13, “I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep… Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
1 Corinthians 2:9, “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”
Romans 2:4, “Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?”
1 John 3:1, “Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God…”
Look at this one… you aren’t loved for what you’ve done… but because of who you are! Even before you came to Christ, He loved you so much that He died for you!
Romans 5:8, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” (NLT)
1 John 4:9, “In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.”
If you have a hard time forgiving others, it’s because the love of Christ isn’t flowing through you. How do you solve this problem? Start working on your relationship with your heavenly Father so you can come to know of His great love for you, and then your spirit will respond and His love will begin to flow through you naturally. When that begins to happen, forgiving those who have wronged you will become much easier.
It is nearly impossible for somebody who is flowing in the love of God to hold bitterness (a form of hate) inside! If you struggle with bitterness, it’s because you lack the love of Christ in your life! You need to become grounded and rooted in the love of Christ, if you want His love to flow through you!
I believe Jesus made it clear that if you love Him, keeping His commandments will naturally follow. If you love Jesus, carrying out His love will come naturally to you:
John 14:23, “Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.”
What was His big commandment? To let His love flow through you to others around you, and love them as He has loved us:
John 13:34, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”