Author: Persecution Live News

Try not to act shocked when a sin is confessed to you. We may feel shocked to hear something we didn’t know about our friend, but our reactions could communicate unintended judgment that will push our friend away.

Extend grace and truth, praying for wisdom to know which one to communicate at which time. Wrap arms around your friend. Help him know he’s not alone. Weep and pray with her.

Share your own vulnerability, as appropriate, with this friend. Give examples of personal struggle and God’s faithfulness in it to help bring hope and encouragement.

Remind your friend of the gospel and that there is nothing so dark in their hearts that God can’t rescue them from it. We know this truth from the Bible, but it’s good to say it out loud.

Sometimes, in confessing our sins, we’ll find immediate freedom. Sometimes it will be an ongoing battle for which we’ll need to seek accountability. If we’ve confessed a sin once to a friend, ask them to keep checking in about it. If we’ve been the one confessed to, don’t be afraid to bring it up again.

In the end, God is the one who brings victory, and we can trust that “he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6). After about a year and a half battling my sin with prayer and Scripture, as well as taking my thoughts captive and talking it over with accountability partners, God released me from the bondage I had felt. I may still be tempted by it, but I no longer feel the oppressive hold it once had on me.

He’s never done working on you and me, friend. Even through the darkest nights of our souls. And when we whisper our confessions to one another, he uses the grace of his body to help bring us out of those dark nights. There is always the light of hope through the gospel and the church of Christ.

Some may say that Christians should only confess their sins to God, since he’s the one who forgives and is ultimately the one we sinned against. Yet this isn’t what the Bible teaches. Some church traditions have taken confession to another person too far. But we read in James 5:16, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

We do need to confess our sins first to the Lord. But he also made us to walk in community with other believers, and part of that community is being open with one another about our sin struggles so we may have accountability and support to fight them.

Confessing sin is painful and vulnerable. We fear how others’ perception of us will change, and we also fear what they might do with that information. This is why all of us as a church must treat this process with the utmost care and humility.

I hesitate to speak up about my sin because it disgusts me. But when a patient shows up in the emergency room with a festering wound oozing blood, he needs a doctor who won’t flinch away from it or quickly put a bandage on it so it can’t be seen. He needs a doctor who calmly wades into the mess so he can bring full healing.

We need these kinds of doctors for our souls as well. The ones who look straight into the ugliness of our sin and patiently work through it with us so we can be healed. This is hard work. Bearing one another’s burdens is messy and anguishing. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that I need my faithful people to walk beside me. And when we grow in vulnerability, it invites others to be vulnerable, too. Because I confessed my sin to a friend, she felt safe a year or so later to confess her sin to me, knowing I would not be put off by it. So how can we grow in this practice?

For those confessing, consider:

Find the right people. Some sins are not meant to be shared with the whole small group. Some are meant to be shared with one or two trusted people—mentors or friends who will walk by your side and pray with you. The mentor I mentioned earlier has been so gentle with me. I remember one time tearfully saying I didn’t want to disappoint God. She said, “He’s not disappointed with you. He loves you, and he’s giving you the strength to fight against this sin.” That’s the kind of person who you need on your side.

If you don’t have people like that in your life, find a Bible-believing church where you can start building those relationships. Seek out a biblical counseling ministry so that a counselor can walk you through your struggles. Pray that God might bring a friend or mentor like that into your life.

It might feel terrifying to admit your sin but remember that fear is a tactic of Satan. God is a God of light, not darkness. Bringing your sin into the light will bring healing; keeping it in the dark will only make it fester.

Several years ago, I listened to an interview with Mike Donehey, lead singer of the band Tenth Avenue North. He said that if we refuse to talk about some sins, we are not believing the gospel because those sins are the very ones Christ died to save us from. Those temptations are the ones his sacrifice gives us power to overcome.

This was life-changing for me. I had given in to the lie that there were some sins that were too “big” for believers—and believing that lie gave those temptations power over me. Yet Christ is more powerful. He’s canceled the debt of every sin through his atoning death and resurrection; therefore I don’t have to fear when temptation comes my way.

When I humble myself before fellow believers and confess where my heart has wandered to, grieving over my sin, I’m acknowledging that this is why I need a Savior. If I refuse to admit my guilt and try to solve it on my own, I’m saying I can be my own savior. But the gospel shines brighter when we acknowledge our need for it and put our trust in what Christ has done for us. And this gives hope to fellow strugglers to find relief from their secret shame.