Tag: Testimonies

Rape Victim Stories: Real Stories of Being Raped

Rape victim stories can be very difficult to read, frightening and emotionally draining for some but stories of rape show other victims that they are not alone in their struggles. Rape stories detail the many abuses that some people suffer and yet survive and go on to succeed in recovering and regaining control of their lives. Rape victim stories can help others to realize that there are other survivors that have been through exactly what they have and come out the other side a whole person.

The following rape stories contain scenes of abuse, sexual assault, incest and violence. The people in these rape victim stories have been badly wounded by these events and yet have the courage to stand up and say what has happened to them. Each of these rape stories speaks to the courage of the person who has shared it.

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Jane’s Story

Jane Epstein is a speaker, a writer, an advocate, a mother, and a survivor of sibling sexual abuse (SSA).

Jane first disclosed her abuse to her mother when she was in her late 20s. Her mom cried and said, “I believe you. How did this happen? How did I not know?” They both tucked it back away, where Jane pushed it aside, thinking the abuse hadn’t impacted her that much. It stayed in that tidy box until Jane was 40-years old and a mother of two toddlers.

Jane could no longer hide her truth. Being sexually abused by her older sibling had affected her life significantly. She began to research sibling sexual abuse and the internet was often silent on the issue. Despite the lack of resources, Jane knew she wasn’t alone.

“I started sharing my story on social media, and through podcasts; I started receiving daily messages from survivors, parents, and even those who had caused harm to another sibling. I felt a call to share with society and parents about this danger in their own homes. But there was a problem. SSA was still a dark and taboo subject, and they met me with silence. I needed to get louder. Then an answer came to me. What about TEDx?”

Jane landed an opportunity to speak on TEDx. Her talk is titled Giving Voice to Sibling Sexual Abuse.

Jane reached the stage and her words spilled out effortlessly. She didn’t speak too quickly and she didn’t forget to breathe. At the end of her talk, she iterated the words, “And if you’re a survivor…..I hear you….I believe you….You are not alone.”

People from the audience approached Jane when she finished. One woman said, “Thank you for talking about this. My husband is here with me, and I almost left because I thought it might trigger me. I’m so glad I stayed. When does the hurt go away? When will I stop crying?” Jane held her.

Another audience member approached her and said, “Thank you for your talk. It was powerful. The person next to me left right after your talk. They said they had to get home and tell their spouse that this happened to them.”

Jane has shared her story with the world and has courageously brought awareness to sibling sexual abuse. She also shares advice to survivors who are weighing the decision of whether or not to come forward with their own stories.

“It takes courage, and it is challenging to heal, it can even be exhausting, but there is hope and healing. I think it’s a good idea to have a professional to support you. The difficulty with sibling sexual abuse and trauma is it is a family trauma. It impacts the survivor, the person who caused harm, and the parents. Many children harmed by sibling sexual trauma never tell anyone about it, and others don’t come forward until their parents are deceased.”

She continued to reflect on her life and what has been most helpful to her healing.

“…As I began to write, I realized my life had happened out of order, and it was no wonder I was confused and depressed. I knew more than a child should know about sexual things at such a young age, which changed the trajectory of my life and made me more susceptible to sexual assault later in life. However, once I realized the impact of the sexual abuse, I began sharing my story, and I became stronger. As I owned my story with grace, instead of trying to outrun it, the shame lessened, one layer at a time, and I realized the shame I had been carrying was not my shame to carry. And as I became more vocal, I met other survivors and advocates, which provided an opportunity to become co-founder of both IncestAWARE.org and 5WAVES, an international advocacy group at siblingsexualtrauma.com.”

Jane encourages survivors with one final message.

“If you can find a way to share your story with someone you trust, whether that is in writing, in a survivor group, or even sharing anonymously, it will start to lessen the pain one layer at a time. If you are ready to share your story anonymously, you can go to www.siblingstoo.com”

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Nubia’s Story

Nubia DuVall Wilson is the founder and president of Cielo Consulting, co-founder of Starfury Productions, a mother, journalist, author, speaker, and survivor of incest.

Nubia first disclosed the abuse she experienced to her husband in July 2016, when memories of the abuse began to resurface. Her husband felt awful and wanted to help. Immediately after, together, they worked through the section for partners in the book Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women of Child Sexual Abuse.

“The book helped us communicate and understand what the ‘partner of the survivor’ goes through and how it is hard for them and how both of us can be understanding of the fact that we are both changing/going through phases through this process. Partners of survivors need to understand that their survivor partner might be distant, ambivalent about being sexual, cold, or even angry as a wave of emotions will be going through them throughout the process. Survivors need to understand that their partner will go through their own version of sadness, confusion and anger and their emotions need to be discussed and acknowledged as well.”

In 2018, Nubia published a book called The Survivors Club, a supernatural short story inspired by her abuse and healing journey.

“I looked back at my old short stories after I started remembering my abuse and found one called ‘Phobia.’ I read it and realized my subconscious was trying to tell me I had experienced incest as a child. I decided I wanted to expand on the story, which was inspired by a dream when I first moved into my house in New Jersey shortly after marriage, and use it as a vehicle to talk about the long-term effects of survivorship and high prevalence of child sexual abuse…I inserted dreamscapes in between chapters which were real dreams I had had while trying to face my trauma, sadness, and anger. They read like poetry in many ways. Each character is a part of me. The end is triumphant.”

Along with writing her book, Nubia has also been active as a founder and business owner of the PR/marketing agency Cielo and TV/film production company Starfury Productions. She works on many projects that continue to advocate for survivors of child sexual abuse and their healing journeys.

“I create content on TikTok about the importance of boundaries in the bedroom and having a voice to say what you need and don’t want. The series is called #HerNeedsMatter for women who experienced sexual abuse and are ambivalent or voiceless in the bedroom. I also offer teens/young adults the opportunity to ask questions that they can’t ask in health class and are too ashamed to ask their parents, especially for survivors of abuse. Many have taken me up on it. I get DMs on Instagram all the time. I just started a TikTok/IG series about how to deal with narcissists. My abuser is a narcissist and I have had bad dating experiences with them, so I want to help people who are going through the same issues.”

As Nubia reflects on her social media advocacy and how it has supported her own journey to heal, she also offered advice to individuals experiencing abuse who are weighing the decision of whether or not to come forward.

“Regain your power and find someone in your community who will support your voice to speak out. Being abused is a power struggle and predators prey on those who have no one to speak up for them or to believe them. If you can’t gain strength and support from someone in your community, find strength in yourself. Contact RAINN and/or find a therapist who can help you. I wouldn’t be where I am today without my therapist who I had since 2013 even before I started to remember my abuse. I always knew something was off with my family and didn’t know how to describe it. Coming forward does NOT make your life easier so to speak, but it makes you BETTER.”

Nubia found four things really helped her on her healing journey:

“1. I had a client, Meg Berry, who taught Tantric Yoga or MomCore. It was all about being in tune with your body and using tantric breath work with Pilates to strengthen your pelvic floor and reconnect mind and body. 2. Writing down my dreams and keeping a journal. 3. I told my close-knit friends and started to talk about my healing journey openly on social media…I also started a secret FB group as a result for survivors to connect in a private, safe space. 4. I started to understand my triggers and how to take control and/or prevent them, as well as learn to manage them when they happen. Planning ahead is huge. Face your trauma, don’t hide from it. Your triggers and coping mechanisms can also become your superpowers. For example, I harness my anxiety to foresee problems at work before they happen. I am also empathetic, so I can read clients very well. Taking control of my triggers helps me a lot.”

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Mirna’s Story

Mirna Navarro-Garcia is a mother, a realtor, an advocate, a speaker, and a survivor of rape.

In 1991, Rudolph Acosta crawled through a cracked window and into Mirna Garcia’s bedroom. Garcia, 16-years-old, became Acosta’s first rape victim that night. Over the next few months, Acosta stalked and attacked at least twenty more women. Following this, police set up a sting operation and caught him.

But nearly 28 years later, Mirna received a letter in the mail from the California Department of Corrections & Rehabilitation that changed everything: Acosta was up for parole. When Acosta committed the crime, he was under the age of 25, which qualified him as a youthful offender under California law at the time. This meant that after serving half of his sentence, he could be paroled and released. Mirna knew that Prop 57 resulted in the early release of many inmates and had been expanded to sexual offenders. She believed the perpetrator would have an excellent chance of being released if she didn’t speak up.

When Mirna first disclosed, she shared that it “continues to still be a struggle. It’s not something that people are comfortable with or are able to talk about… but the closest to feeling support was when the rapist was up for parole and I went to seek help to figure out how to keep him behind bars. I met with Esmeralda Soria, City of Fresno Council member, and she was one of my biggest support systems in helping me get the story out there. It was the first time that I felt like someone understands and even though they don’t know the ins and outs of what I’m going through…it helped me get to where I’m at.”

Mirna had a range of emotions, but in her spiritual life, she felt called to come forward.

“I felt like I couldn’t lay my head down…but at the same time, I felt like God was pushing me to do this and I had options; I could write a letter or send a video. But I chose to show up and Esmeralda helped me get the media involved to reach out to the rest of the victims. I didn’t know how I would let the rest of the survivors know that the perpetrator was up for parole.”

She helped gather City of Fresno council members from California and other survivors of Acosta to send a letter to the CDCR board which was sent to Governor Gavin Newsom and they supported the efforts to keep the perpetrator behind bars. ”Esmeralda was key, for someone in her position, to rally and help me with it. Everything aligned beautifully and all these people came around me to help keep him in prison. It took a village to do what was right and stand behind our community because we would have all been impacted had he been released.”

Mirna shares what it was like when her story came out in the media.

“There were a few news channels that requested an interview for English and Spanish stations. I met with Brianna Vaccari who was the journalist for Fresno Bee and who was also involved in the proceedings…There was a part that scared me [about having my story in the media]. I was opening my past and present to the world. It was really difficult to leave myself so exposed…it almost felt like I was naked…but I really felt like it needed to be done to help the rest of the survivors and victims, their family members, and our community. I needed to expose everything and that was really hard.”

Mirna was able to connect with the other women that were raped by Rudolph.

“Being that there were 20 of us who were raped by Rudolph, and eight of us only had enough evidence at the time to take him to court back in the 90s. I only had the eight names on the court document when he was sentenced and since this happened in the 90s, many of their names only had their maiden names.”

Mirna looked into the history of their family members and was able to connect to a daughter of one of the victims who died by suicide.

“It was really hard and I get it; it impacts your life. It changes your life and you are never the same person again. For instance, the work that RAINN does is impactful and I was able to have someone assist me during court. She was there for me and gave me a care package and shared with me what my rights were…I just wish that young woman knew that there was help out there and that RAINN and other organizations were there to support her through this….For me, RAINN helped me choose my journey. I find healing in sharing my story and in fighting for change to help as many people as I can..[so they can] live and thrive.”

Rudolph Acosta was denied parole and required to stay behind bars. Mirna reflects on the entire process of keeping him behind bars.

“Getting the letter in the mail, that the perpetrator was up for parole and facing this head on and dealing with it, has been freeing. It’s been amazing to be able to say this is what happened to me but this is not who I am.”

Mirna continues to tell her story, including with local high schools, and offer insight to other survivors in the world.

To someone who is weighing the decision of whether or not to come forward, Mirna says, “There is no right or wrong answer on how to come forward. The last thing you want is someone judging you for your decision of how you chose to handle it. You have to do what is best for you. That’s number one. If I was talking to myself when I was 15-years-old, I would have wanted to hear someone say, you are not alone. I’ll protect you. I’ll be your voice; I’ll be the person you can lean on. I would want to know that there is something there because you can feel so alone…maybe the first door you knock on isn’t the right one. But you can’t give up. You can’t stop. If you need help, you have to find it. There is help out there even if you have to knock on a few doors.”

Mirna has found a peaceful place in her life full of healing and restoration.

“Even though I have gone through all of this, I am still standing here. I have a family of nine beautiful children, three girls, five boys, and one little angel. I’m thriving and will continue to live a life with no regrets…I am happy. I am living my best life! That one moment in my life, the rape, did not have to define the rest of my life. I choose me and I choose to live.”

Mirna’s email is MirnaNGarcia@gmail.com.

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Gloria’s Story

Gloria Master’s is an author, advocate, speaker, and a survivor of child sexual abuse (CSA).

Before Gloria disclosed, she grew up feeling like everything was her fault. She repressed her memories for 16 years and it felt beyond challenging to carry so much shame and guilt.

Gloria first disclosed the abuse she experienced with a psychologist. When he uttered the words “It was never your fault” she felt the stirrings of relief.

Fast track to 2022, and Gloria wrote her second book: Flightpath to Healing: A Guide for Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) Survivors. She loves to write and finds the process cathartic and powerful. Gloria shares what prompted her to write this book, and how it evolved over time.

“I had always known that I would write a book like this because I had so much trauma that I lived through, and knew, through years of pain and anguish, what had helped my recovery and healing. I learned through lived experience and through listening to many survivors over time. I finally realized that when I spoke to survivors, they felt held and understood in that space, something that hadn’t been available to them before. I suspect it is because I am a healed CSA survivor myself. It was suggested I write this book, as I have often been asked what helped me to heal from this sixteen years of horrendous child sexual abuse and trafficking, I experienced. Simply put, this book is written from one survivor to another. I’m humbled and proud of what I have produced. I have had survivors and non-survivors reach out thanking me and reporting that it is helping them. Some non-survivors even mentioned they might start using the exercises in the book.”

Gloria was very intentional about her book and how it was divided.

“The book starts with a boarding pass which we all have as survivors. Some may ask; Why do we get the boarding pass before we have boarded the plane (started the journey)? The answer is, you have already survived what you went through, you’ve been traveling this path for years – you just didn’t realize it.”

You then traverse through the book which is in 4 sections. “What worked for me as a survivor, ways you can use these techniques, common symptoms CSA survivors experience, empowering resources, and healing modalities. The final part is your flightpath.

You are not required to use the book in a specific way. You can choose how you wish to work with it. You can follow it from beginning to end or focus on one chapter a week. It doesn’t have to be from A to B. You could even choose to work with one section, then leave it for a month. Whatever way you choose is the right way for you. Trust your instinct, it is never wrong.”

Towards the very end, you arrive at the purpose of the book, which is your flightpath. This is where you choose from the first 3 parts of the book that resonated with you, and these form your traveler destination details and itinerary.

As Gloria reflected on her book and explored the many ways survivors can heal, she also offered advice to survivors who are deciding whether or not to share what happened to them.

“Our mind is always leading us to healing. If the thought is there, it’s because there is a part of you ready to face and forward it. By that, I mean, share it with someone safe. You might journal it. You might do an art class where you just put it all on the canvas. You might join a hockey team where you smash the c##p out of that ball. Releasing it from you is a way of sharing. If you feel prompted to share with someone you trust 100 percent, start thinking about how and prepare your script. You could say something like; Look, I‘ve got something personal to share and I really need the space held. Can you sit with me, please, while I do this?

The main point to come back to is this; if it’s in your head, there is a reason for it, maybe because you are ready to experience more healing through sharing it.”

Gloria has practiced healing in various ways and shares what has been most healing for her on her journey.

“There are three things. Meditation has changed my whole life because I couldn’t trust anyone in my life to look after me. I was never safe, so I learned to go within, (which is meditation) and that is where I found my hope. Meditation saved me and still does today.

The second thing was having someone I trusted, who was not a family member, or invested in what I disclosed. I lost my whole family through speaking out, but this person, Jackie, is a beautiful, close friend. She’s always been there for me. She has 100 percent believed me and stood by me. She never doubted me. Have someone you can share with.

The third is finding self-love because I never believed that self-love was available to someone like me.”

Gloria shares her final message to survivors.

“I see you. I stand beside you, and I believe you.”

Check out Gloria’s YouTube channel here.

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As I was watching his testimony I began to laugh.

Then the program was over but I couldn’t stop laughing, everything was funny to me. I laughed and laughed. I laughed for 3 days! Then on the 4th day, I realized I hadn’t switched in 4 days. This was not the norm, but then again not much was. I then inquired of one of my personalities, “P.T., what’s up? It’s quiet in there!” That was my REVELATION moment, that I knew that I was healed, when the very thought of being anybody but just me was absurd! I couldn’t even relate to it!

What I didn’t realize was that I had been drunk in the Spirit for 4 days, while the Lord was completely healing and restoring me to the person I am today. PRAISE GOD! In the words of that old hymn Nothing but the blood, “What can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me WHOLE again, nothing but the blood of Jesus.”

Even now there is still debate, as to whether MPD is a dissociative identity disorder as defined by psychiatry or whether it is demonic, as is thought by many churches and believers. Here are my thoughts on that. Whether I was “healed” of a multiple personality disorder brought on by years of abuse or “delivered” like many women in the Bible, (Mary of Magdalene was delivered of 7 demons), either way… ALL THE GLORY TO GOD! God is able to heal me of dissociative identity disorder, do a creative miracle, deliver me of demons or all of the above

It has now been eleven glorious years since my miraculous healing! It has not all been easy, but it has been with the Lord by my side. “In this world you will have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” John 16:33

On March 24, 2002 I was ordained Reverend by seven pastors in India, all of whom I have personally ministered with. God called me to go to India “alone” in November of 2000 and many souls for Christ is the fruit of that divine call. In March-April 2006 God called me to a 40 day ordained fast and many miraculous things happened during that time. The Lord said “Is this not the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?” Isaiah 58:6 There was revival in my daughters house, my sister was delivered and a dear friend was saved, healed and delivered, also of DID. Praise God! “Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit says the Lord.” Zach 4:6 Through that time of prayer and fasting the Lord has called and equipped me as an Evangelist with all the gifts necessary to fulfill that call. Now I am stepping out to visit other churches using the gift of Evangelism and all that that entails.

I am also a Gospel singer/songwriter and in 2001 I wrote and recorded a song called Living Water that closely parallels my life. Though I reckon I could be considered a modern day Samaritan, my life is truly rich and full of joy unspeakable. I was a broken vessel, but God has made me a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the master; prepared for every good work.” 2nd Timothy 2:21

Now I have the opportunity to visit other churches using the gifting of Evangelism proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ and His healing power.
I am also a Gospel singer and I have written and recorded a song that closely parallels my life called “Living Water.” Click on the link to go to my music page.

Listen to Pattidawn sing “Living Water”

It is an honor to be used of the Lord to serve wherever he calls. My life is rich and full beyond my dreams and I will forever Praise the Lord in testimony, song and service. Amen!

“Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things-and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.” 1 Cor. 1:26-29

Rev. Pat Torok

www.PattiDawn.com

PS If you would like prayer about healing from child abuse, DID, (dissociative identity disorder) formally called MPD (multiple personality disorder) please contact us.

If you would like more information about Restoration Prayer Ministry, please read the articles at Prayer Ministry at CWL , see our application and give us a call.

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Now comes the exciting part!

In Nov.1995 I was channel surfing and came across Cornerstone Television. Frankly, it was the title of the sermon that got my attention. It was “get out of your mind and into the word” and I said to my selves (lol) well I’m half there! Richard Roberts was giving his testimony of the stress that almost drove him to a nervous breakdown, had it not been for the joy of the Lord that caused him to laugh instead! It was very funny and true, how the presidency of Oral Roberts University was passed down to him by his father, along with a 40 million dollar debt!

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In 1990 I was diagnosed with 100+ “personalities” or “alter-ego’s.”

By then, I had been hospitalized a dozen times for multiple personality disorder and had tried to take my own life several times. In 1987 I married my husband Ed, who by the grace of God was able to keep me and his sanity!

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Testimony by Rev. Patricia Torok I Was Healed of Dissociative Identity Disorder I was born into an abusive, dysfunctional and mentally ill family.

Physical, mental, verbal, emotional and sexual abuse were all a part of my life by the time that I was five. Genuine love was also a part which made it even more confusing. Because of the trauma’s I was unable to cope with, I began to dissociate at the age of two. This led to a disorder now known as DID (dissociative identity disorder) formally called MPD (multiple personality disorder.)

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