You are not seeing yourself as you really are. If you’ve repented of your past, and sought God’s forgiveness, then you are forgiven or justified (which means “just as if I’ve never sinned”). It’s not that you should try to forget what happened (don’t remind yourself of it either though), but the important key is to see your past through the Blood of Jesus. You need to see your past as “paid in full” by the work that Christ did for you on the cross! Seeing things with this perspective changes everything! You need to begin seeing yourself through the blood of Jesus.
One day, when the enemy was trying to beat me up over my past, the Holy Spirit spoke clearly to me and said, “You need to KNOW that you’re clean… your faith depends upon it!”
