Over-explaining indeed has its beginnings in trauma in many instances. It can develop as a result of gaslighting. Anxiety and ADHD can also lead to over-explaining or people who grew up in a strict home where you had to “justify your choices.” People who felt they needed to be convincing or read the other person’s responses to ensure they absolutely understood where they were coming from and may also over-explain.
Dr. Caroline Leaf explains it this way,
Over-explaining is a common trauma response for those who were often made to feel at fault as a child. At one point, the desire to people-please provided safety. But, please know, what happened is not your fault, and it’s not your job to regulate other people’s emotional states.”
Over-explaining is often associated with the fawn response.
There are many reasons why a person over-explains. But I want to focus on a specific instance of when it happens—when someone has the wrong idea about you or something you chose to do. Have you ever done this? Have you ever felt like you had to explain yourself?
