See, I wanted to CONTROL THE NARRATIVE about how they saw or thought of me. And I certainly didn’t want them telling others untrue or half-truths about me, even though that’s not in my control.
Ultimately, I wanted to defend myself and justify my decision or action because I didn’t want to be rejected or to protect my reputation. I believed that if I could control the narrative, I could minimize the hurt.
The truth is that people will do and think what they want regardless of you telling them what’s what. But if I could explain everything and make them understand, I could protect myself. THIS is how over-explaining is a control tactic. By over-explaining, it’s me trying to control how it will affect me if they don’t understand my choice or walk away thinking badly of me.
It hurts to know that someone thinks badly or wrongly of you. That’s human. But Psalm 62:5-7 (and many other verses) says to depend on God alone, to put our hope in Him, that He is the one who protects and saves us. He alone is our defender and our shelter. We aren’t to take to defend ourselves. The Lord vindicates us.
I feel like the Lord wants you to know that while your flesh still squirms under the pressure of wanting to be understood and spill all the details so you can have that semblance of being understood, know this, the only thing that needs to be said is what you are released to say. Nothing more. Nothing less. God will work out all the rest.