1. Be Sure All Ties To The Other Man Are Broken.

This may be obvious, but it is also likely going to be the hardest to follow through with in the beginning.

  • Push past the withdrawal.  There is something called withdrawal that occurs, much like when an addict goes without their drug of choice.  It’s uncomfortable and hard at first.  But keep your eye on the prize-your husband’s healing and your marriage’s survival is at stake. Don’t make the mistake I did and let this one drag on…you just might go back to your affair partner too many times and risk losing your husband for good.
  • Cut off any means of communication with affair partner.   Don’t leave any openings that he could communicate with you or that you could contact him in a weak moment (that means blocking him on all social media and his number on your phone). I realize this is a hard step to make, but it’s critical. Keep reminding yourself, every contact you make with your affair partner, is a step backwards. If you REALLY want to save your marriage and you’re tired of feeling so confused and torn up inside, you’ve got to end all contact.

If you’re struggling with this, I encourage you to read would your affair partner make a good spouse?

Here’s a visual for you when you’re feeling tempted to contact your affair partner, I used to think of it like playing the game of Sorry.

You move up the board and things are going good, then you roll the dice and it has you go back to the beginning of the game to start all over. Having contact with your affair partner, however minor you think it is, is like going back to the beginning of healing for your marriage and for yourself.

Even if your husband does not find out you had contact, YOU will know. And your heart cannot heal from the effects of the affair until all contact is broken off.

If you’re still struggling with this, you can read more about breaking off an affair here.

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