An emotionally neglected child grows up experiencing a deep feeling of being alone, even if surrounded by family. They experience their emotions being ignored or unwanted, perhaps at times even thwarted or dismissed by their parents or other caretakers. This probably unspoken message may be delivered silently, by simply not being asked often enough:
Is anything wrong?
What would you like?
Do you need something?
What’s your preference?
Do you want to talk about what/how you’re feeling?
How can I help you?
In the emotionally neglectful home, it isn’t what your parents do to you, but what they don’t do for you when you need them to help you understand something you don’t yet know how to process: your own feelings.
You need their validation and responsiveness to your feelings. You need them to be there for you, and you need them to listen. You especially need them to allow you to accept your feelings without criticism, disregard, or judgment.
When, as a child, your parents don’t respond to your feelings and needs enough, it is quite confusing. To others, your family may look normal in every way. But you feel an unnamed indifference on a feeling level that outsiders will never see.
Persecution Live 