The first anchor is being able to understand the nature of the issue. If you do not have at least a cursory understanding of trauma, you will likely weary yourself mentally, emotionally, and even physically trying to out fires, establish rhythms, and solve problems. Trauma issues in marriage need more than good communication skills and weekly date nights to solve the problem – though communication skills and date nights are important, too! Trauma issues need, among other things, understanding.
So what should you understand about your spouse and the complex childhood trauma he or she has suffered? For one thing, know that traumatic childhood experiences are far from superficial. Traumatic childhood experiences go way beyond feelings and actually change the structure and function of the brain and nervous system. One of the complications of this is that the survivor’s brain is virtually always in a state of hypervigilance, constantly scanning the environment for threats. The overactive fight, flight or freeze mode lends itself to the body’s nervous system being easily activated. This is taxing to the mind and body of the survivor.
If you are the spouse of a trauma survivor it is important for you to note that your spouse may not appear to be hypervigilant, but there is tremendous hypervigilance going on internally. This has profound implications for your marital dynamic, and it explains why gaining emotional and relational traction may seem so difficult. Your spouse, due to the trauma, lives in survival mode. Building lasting marital intimacy in survival mode is quite a feat.
Understanding the nature of complex trauma and its physiological impact on the survivor helps you to put your spouse’s actions and reactions in an appropriate and constructive context. You are then better positioned to engage with him in helpful and meaningful ways.
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The Revelator: The Gateway Beast: Reloaded
📡 September 22, 2023: Vigilant News > Initially, Attorney Berkovich received 472 pages, but someone who Dr. Wolf believes could be a whistleblower recently released another 46 pages to Mr. Berkovich. – The Whistleblowers
📡 SEP 18, 2023: Zero Hedge > Revelation 13:16-17 > The Beast System! The Controversy Begins: In 2018 the team at UC Santa Barbara published a paper titled “Et Tu Alexa?” examining the potential threats of this emerging technology. – Smart Grid Surveillance
📡 Sep 25, 2023: Biometric Update > The Beast System! Nice Actimize to help GoTyme Bank prevent fraud. – Smart Grid Surveillance
📡 SEP 18, 2023: Zero Hedge > There’s A Devil On The Loose! Revelation 13:16-17 > The Beast System! The Breakthrough: Up until this point it was necessary to use frequencies higher than commercial WiFi (2.4 and 5 GHz) to achieve decent imaging resolutions. – Smart Grid Surveillance
2nd Day Of Yom Kippur: A Final Day of Atonement – Begins At Sunset On Sunday, September 24, 2023, And Ends At Sunset On Monda,y September 25, 2023.
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